Book: Tuesdays with Morrie
Author: Mitch Albom
Genre: Memoir
Recommend: Yes
Rating: 5/5
What is the first thought that crosses your mind when you hear the word death?
When you take a minute and mull over it, the word sounds natural but also frightening. But the thought of waking up one morning only to learn that your life has been put in an hourglass is agonizing. Everyone is well acquainted with the concept of death but most of us live in denial of it.
Morris Schwartz was faced with the timescale of life that he was left with. He was a professor who was, unfortunately, diagnosed with ALS in his late Seventies. A disease that devours the body part by part until the person loses their ability to even speak.
A few months after Morrie was diagnosed with the disease, he met Mitch (The author) who was one of his former students. Mitch shared a special bond with Morrie during his college days but Mitch drifted away from everyone after he graduated. One day when Mitch was flipping through the news channels, he discovered that the person on the TV was his old professor who was dying. Mitch felt guilty for having lost touch with his old professor and he instantly decided to pay Morrie a visit. Upon reuniting with Morrie, Mitch realized that it had been 16 years since he last saw Morrie but the bond was still solid as a rock. They decided to meet every Tuesday to talk about different themes and called it Morrie’s last project, ‘Life’'.Their conversations not only made Mitch feel liberated but also helped him perceive life through a different lens. Mitch admitted that he liked himself better when he was with Morrie.
Some of the discussions that I identified with on a profound level are:
1. World: Morrie believed in keeping in touch with what was happening across the globe. Hence, he did not disconnect himself from the news and said, “Now that I am suffering, I feel closer to people who suffer than I ever did before.” Most of us do not consider other people’s pain and suffering since we are not in their shoes, but only when one endures, they can comprehend the sufferings of others and identify with them on a significant level
2. Regret: Mitch felt that he wasn’t living his life the way he should and was so engrossed in the race of life that he was missing out on the real things to which Morrie said “The culture doesn't encourage you to think about such things until you're about to die. We're so wrapped up with egotistical things, career, family, having enough money, meeting the mortgage, getting a new car, fixing the radiator when it breaks. We're involved in trillions of little acts just to keep going. So we don't get into the habit of standing back and looking at our lives and saying, Is this all? Is this all I want? Is something missing?” Morrie was right yet again because we let the culture direct our lives and only realize the important things in life once someone probes us in that direction and so having regrets is only natural.
3. Death: Mitch asked Morrie if he was afraid of dying and Morrie said, “Learn how to die, and you learn how to live.” When you understand that you are going to die, you start living differently, in a manner that you filter out the frivolous things in life and only focus on the essentials. I feel we live half-heartedly. We don’t explore the essence of life and only when we are faced with the experience of death, that is when one learns to live completely and wholeheartedly.
4. Emotions: Morrie said that it is important to feel every emotion in-depth but it is also vital to detach yourself from that emotion after having experienced every facet of it so one can live completely and he quoted the Buddhists, “Don’t cling to things because everything is impermanent.” I feel that you can only detach and move forth once you have examined your feelings and felt them all together as doing that reduces the feeling of vulnerability and one can acknowledge life and love valiantly.
5. How love goes on: Morrie believed in being there for people and he would listen to people intently when they would talk to him, he would be mentally present in the conversation. People met Morrie in light of the fact that he was dying but also because he listened to them and connected with them. Mitch asked Morrie if he feared being forgotten and Morrie was certain that he won't be forgotten because he was there for people and was loved by them. He said, "Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone." I feel that we don't give people the importance they deserve. More often than not we may be physically present in the conversation however not mentally. It is truly imperative to listen to the other person with all concentration because that will not only gain you respect but it will also make the other person feel needed.
6. Forgiveness: “Forgive yourself before you die. Then forgive others.” Morrie proceeded to discuss a friend who he should have forgiven. However, that friend died before Morrie could realize it. Morrie felt remorseful for a very long time but then he realized, it was time he forgave himself.“It’s not just other people we need to forgive, Mitch, we also need to forgive ourselves." We get stuck in the loop of regrets which does not help anyone. It is important to eventually forgive yourself and others for your peace of mind.
Mitch used to be someone who wasn't quite comfortable with communicating his feelings and expressing his emotions but his last project with Morrie transitioned him. In their last meeting, Mitch embraced Morrie and cried while bidding him farewell. "Tears are okay" Morrie cried, Mitch cried and the readers cried.
Morrie wanted his tombstone to read "A teacher to the last" because he truly was a teacher until the end. He left his message for such a significant number of individuals and over the years individuals have perused his work and related to it. I am certain that he would have been delighted to know he has not been forgotten. He lives and will proceed to live in the hearts of many.
This book is articulated really well and connects with the readers instantly. It's one of those books that you need to take as much time as is needed with, to process everything that Morrie discusses in each chapter. This book has been one of my favorites since the first time I read it because you can read it over and over again with the certainty of perceiving it differently each time. Morrie was facing death which gave him clarity of the significant things in life and that is the kind of clarity every individual should seek.
